video

I'm trying again with the video.

Photos

Just FYI, I'm doing better. The house is getting unpacked and organized. I was able to get the taxes done and we're getting a nice return. Alex is doing better in school and Jenny is totally loving school. Daniel, Becca & I have been playing a lot and we've had some sun.
Lance and I have a date tonight, and next weekend for our anniversary and I'm having a b-day party the weekend after that, so there is a lot to look forward to!!
I thought I'd post some pictures from earlier in the year. The firetruck ladder picture is especially cool to me. There was a funeral for a fire chief and they raised the ladders as a tribute. It was right in front of our house. Very cool. Alex loves his stuffed animals! Jenny did her hair crazy and wanted a photo, and Daniel made the crown his first week in Primary.
Also, we all went rollerskating two weeks ago, and I took the camera, but didn't have any memory, so I only got one video--which isn't working at the moment, so I'll add it later. Daniel is amazing on his scooter! So enjoy!

Thanks

Thanks for all the nice comments and words of comfort. Things will get better, I know.
So I've decided to throw myself a birthday party and invite just about anyone who wants to come. I'll send out an evite to all my girly friends with the info, so if you don't get one and feel that you should have gotten one, send me a comment. With everything going on, it might take me a few days to get this out but look for it soon!

Moving

Why is it so hard for me to move? I wish I could see it as a new adventure with new opportunities, but I just feel sad and miss what I'm leaving behind. I always eventually get used to it and then the new place becomes "home" and I'm sad to leave it. When we moved to Boone it took 2 years for me to become my old self. When we moved back to Utah it took months, then longer with the miscarriage and the new baby. I'm finally starting to feel like I'm back to myself and we move again. I'm trying so hard to be positive about this, to embrace the new neighbors and the new ward and the new opportunities. I know that we were supposed to move here and I'm sure there are reasons. But I miss the comfort of my old friends and neighbors. I miss knowing that I could go to the Hardman's any day and any time to borrow something I needed. I miss knowing where the bathrooms at church are located. It breaks my heart to see my kids sad, crying because they miss their friends and their old school. It was nice to have Lance sitting beside me in sacrament meeting. When I left to feed Becca I didn't have to worry about my kids. But I realize too that I didn't have to worry about them much at the old ward. Daddy was on the stand, and there were tons of friends standing by, keeping an eye on them when I was gone. So many new faces. So many names to remember. I'm overwhelmed with the amount of things that I have to do to organize my house and my life. A part of me wants to just hide away in my house, slink down deep inside myself and not get to know anyone because I know this move isn't permanent and I'm going to be hurt again all over.
When I was little we moved into our house in Sandy when I was 3. I left for college from that house. Our Branch in Boone was the next longest place at 5 years and our ward in Provo 2 1/2.
I'm tired of moving. I'm tired of starting over. I just want to buy a house and live there until I die. But in my heart I know that won't happen and that this is one of the trials that I have to learn to overcome. There are people that can bless my life here and people whose lives I can bless. I just pray for the strength to overcome the weakness inside of me so that I don't miss the opportunities ahead of me.